2014 in a glimpse

So many things happened in 2014! Luckily this year is not as polarized as 2013. Nothing too drastic happened: Met new people and part ways with others, found 8tracks (yes it's that significant! I like music okay), lost my feeling towards SO (strangely I don't consider it important enough to share in my blog so yeah), had best holidays (they deserve their own post later), etc etc generic life experience...

Sure I had my fair share of pain and stress, in fact recently I had MAJOR stress. But here I am, feel content and happy as a clam. So let's list down things that impressed me in 2014. Don't expect something fancy cos frankly speaking, these are just generic tidbits in life:

Met people that I can look up and rely to. Well not on MA level of course (who can beat a rare combination of colleague/advisor/older brother, plus being the most practical person I've ever met), but at least they're not just acquaintances for me and I like them all, genuinely.

Met the kindest man. Don't know why overly kind people is just off-putting for me. But this particular person doesn't come off as fake right to the simplest gesture he did. He is amiable and positive, you know that everyone's favorite uncle kind of vibes. And he is very polite that I think of myself whenever I speak to him "gurl are you gadis hutan or what use some manners pls!", tho how I speak to him is the exact same way I speak to everyone else! I pretty much admire his demeanor that I'm, surprise surprise, motivated to be a kinder person. 

Cried in public. I almost never cry let alone in public. But that morning on July I feel utterly disappointed and distressed and God forbid I can't do anything! Basically I had to fake a smile. At noon I can't hold it any longer so I asked my friend out for lunch. In a packed cafe, I told her what happened and naturally, I cried. People stared but I didn't give a single damn I still bawled. I was VERY distraught. Funny thing is I broke down last year in same month and exactly during lunch (different friends and restaurant tho) for almost identical reason. It hits me hard: no I didn't sign up for this. Nope. Twice is enough. I'll never cry again for this. Anyway, in case you're wondering this is not the aforementioned major stress. 

Stand up for myself. Yes, this is regarding THAT major stress. Sure there are times when you should just accept your life as it is, but if there's a room to try then why don't I try? Why CAN'T I try? People might talk but I ignore them. This is my life anyway, I live it not them. So I speak my mind in the most assertive way possible, and the result is (so far) pleasantly nice. At this point I realize that speaking and standing up for oneself took lots of courage. It's a great deal cos in a stochastic world I live in, even having a dream is a gutsy act. You'll never know whatever comes crushing your dream. Sad, isn't it? Oh well, hope everything will turn out fine later.

Biggest life lesson of the year:

This year is especially meaningful as it reshaped not only my dreams, but also my attitudes towards them. I think it's important to sail out and steer clear to your goals. When you encounter storm or reef, just hold on and keep sailing through. If you can't get through, just adjust your route. If you feel you'll never reach your destination, just change it. Plan new route or go along with the wind, who knows you might land in a bigger and better island anyway. Just don't ever let your ship sink. NEVER.

Song to end 2014:

"Is it strange for me to say that if I were to die today
There's not a thing that I would change, I've lived well
Maybe I have made mistakes and been through my fair share of pain
But all in all, it's been okay, I've lived well

And the more that I see, the more that I know
I don't know anything, at all
Like the more that I breath, and start to go slow
Oh, one of many things, I can only recall

All of the good things, good things
Only the good, the good, the good"

Beautiful isn't it? Shit happened but if you look at bigger picture, your life is pretty much okay. At the very end you'll only remember good things anyway.

So 2014, I bid you a nice farewell.

And hello 2015, please be good to each other.